October

by butterflyshapes

Its taken me quite some time to get round to updating the blog of late because of illness, life and lack of motivation. I have a feeling the Winter creeping in has something to do with my dip in mood and that I am on cold number two in the space of 6 weeks.

I was apprehensive about sharing this months training because if I’m honest I didn’t complete the entire weekend and feel bad because I’ve come so far but have stumbled in the last few months. Its no secret that I’ve been struggling with the course but I think that is more to do with personal circumstance and failing health than the course it self.

The weekend started of rather difficult because I wasn’t feeling particularly well and my yoga buddy who I have been going along with every month was also poorly. I missed her a lot! Anyway on arrival we were allocated rooms with our yogi groups and got started on performing our flow sequence. I was incredibly nervous and felt so anxious that I had that usual build up of emotion and just wanted to cry. Is it just me that gets this? What can I say! I’m a sensitive soul. My chance to do my 15 minutes of yoga came and went and really wasn’t half as bad as my mind had worked it up to be. I really enjoyed the my class mates flows too and was really impressed at how far each of us has come in a short space of time. It was a late finish and I went home feeling elated but also pretty drained because of all the emotional energy I had let build up and the effects of a lingering cold. I forgot my keys but luckily my mum had a spare set to let me get home and tucked up in bed.

I awoke the following morning even more ill than the day before but was determined to make training and went to get my bike. Oh yes! I forgot my keys so it was a mad rush to get to training on time in pretty miserable weather. I made it and dragged myself through practice and went to the first lecture on Astanga which was really interesting and I was amazed at how much prep you have to do to become an Astanga teacher! Complete dedication! Afterwards we had the second half of the Sutras with Marit, Anatomy with Ros and study of Anja Chakra and Trataka with Marit. During the lecture I felt really off colour and  after a chat with my mentor Sue we decided I would be best to go home and complete the rest of Octobers module next year. I was really sad to go home but also relieved because I felt so poorly and know yoga to me is about well being and felt like I was defeating the purpose of being there by being ill pushing myself.

Unfortunately I have another cold but I am hoping it is gone by next weekend as we have a full hour to teach and I want to last the weekend this time! Hopefully I’ll be back with a more uplifting recap and will try not to stress about teaching as much this time as I know its really not as scary as anticipated. Lastly the new website is up and running thanks to Graeme!

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