Moods
by butterflyshapes
I decided to post about this as its something that I struggle with on a daily basis but feel through my practice it has eased a little but I have a long way to go.
To know me I am usually always when I’m not having a rant about something really smiley and chatty almost annoyingly so. However beneath this big smile I plaster on to the world I have a internal battle going on. I find being round people exceptionally difficult which I am pushing to overcome through my training. The training weekends are the hardest and my anxiety about a weekend surrounded by others sends me in to an anxious state. I actually go into blind panic and regularly toy with the idea of not going at all. However through speaking about how I feel and being honest about it I feel so much better. Last month I was having a moment of wondering wether I was doing the right thing and had huge lapse in confidence. I spoke to some of the wonderful students on my course and turns out they felt the same way! I was shocked that I wasn’t the only one experiencing the flight feeling in fight or flight but to meet people that understand meant so much to me.
It is a daily battle to get out that front door because of how I regularly feel but through opening up and challenging that feeling maybe one day it won’t be such a task.
Sorry to go all deep on you there but I just needed to get things off my chest especially with the up and coming weekend.
” I was shocked that I wasn’t the only one experiencing the flight feeling in fight or flight but to meet people that understand meant so much to me.” …..
This is sososososososososososso ALWAYS true. We cannot judge another person’s outsides based on our insides….ponder that. We cannot be thinking “I am pathetic because I feel nervous and shy and look at that person over there they seem fine and confident….”
Often times? We may even look the same on the outside as they do…and so often they feel the same on the inside but may express it differently. Some people stay busy, others talk too much….etc.
I tend to plaster the big smile on but if I’m struggling I really withdraw which is kinda what happened this eve. Felt so overwhelmed but I got through it
Going to miss my missy! please stay in touch xxx
My little hiatus is really more of a week or two thing….I think I was over-dramatic. (0:
i think it’s a normal feeling, one that we have to focus on, with Gods strength, in order to overcome. xxoo
thank you sweetie xxx